Being your authentic self comes at a price
I might’ve learnt self love early on watching Oprah in my mid 20’s when she was all about self love concept, law of attraction, positivity etc. I had just graduated and used to spend my mornings in my tiny apartment applying for jobs and my afternoons were inspirations I took from watching good old Oprah on cable.
Every step of the way when you put yourself first, when you take every decision based on what is good for you, you miraculously end up being the kindest being. You have so much love within you that this love overflows in every action you take.
How do you ensure self love? Whatever you are conditioned to do, you take a step back and ask ‘why’. Why am I doing this? How does it serve me? Me! Me! Me! Families teach us who to be friends with, society tells us how to live our lives and some people of faith will constantly teach how ‘my faith is better than yours’. While they are doing it in their own right from the goodness of their hearts, we go back to asking that same question. How does it serve my soul? These questions to determine self love have been deemed in todays society as self centered.
If I have to drive an hour to see a friend who is unwell, am I to do this because I am a ‘good person’ or is it to fill up that ‘good deeds’ bucket that gets piled up at the entry to heaven. Or is it bcuz being able to be next to my ailing friend would give me comfort for the love I feel. The former option makes it transactional when one day I will expect the same from her or from whatever the version of my god or universe is, while the later makes it unconditional love.
Now if we don’t strive to learn or practice unconditional love, what is the meaning behind life and of this very existence? What is life without unconditional love?
That being said, actions as such do not always bring peace. They bring misunderstandings, heartbreaks and often a lonely journey in this big wide world. You are often misconstrued for being cold, out of touch or emotionally unavailable. But which would you rather choose? Conducting your life trying to please what someone else has decided for you, to eventually never to love that person. Or find your own true inner peace in your self love where the heart will be big enough that one day you could even forgive those who have misunderstood you or hurt you in the process.
Terrific piece of writing and well timed.
TJ